ALL YOUR SUNSHINE MAKES (my flowers bloom!)

Good morning to the select few readers of mine out there! (Ash, Jacqui, Amber...)

I'm noticing a trend here - posting on a Friday. Don't know how that developed, but I guess it's good, in a way. It allows me the chance to recap the entire week, put things into perspective then maybe something productive will happen. Or not. I'm not feeling very productive today.

I wasn't going to blog at all until the weekend, give myself another chance for something interesting to happen in this life I lead as a fat kid, but after visiting OldNavy.com this morning, my feelings about such have changed. If you live under a rock, you wouldn't know that Old Navy is doing a model search, they are looking for people to make themselves over into "Super Modelquins". The winner will get to become the new model and win a cash prize. I figured I would do it just for fun, I was at least curiouse to see what I'd look like in plastic form. Well, to my unpleasant surprise, they don't offer modelquins in plus sizes. It shouldn't have shocked me the way it did but considering almost my entire waredrobe is from Old Navy, I wasn't a happy camper. How am I suppose to Super Modelquin myself if you don't even offer an XL size model to work with? Really?

Just once I'd like for ONE company besides Torrid (who is a bit too 'goth' for my liking, and not to mention really expensive..) to embrace the plus size community. It's moments like that which make me regret never going to design school - not like I have the ability to sew, but the sentiment is there. I would like at least one company, as popular as Old Navy to just branch out a little. They offer a wide variety of sizes in their store, I believe from my own personal experience I've seen up to a size 20 - and their website is even better, they offer up to a size 30. Now, as plus size standards go, that's pretty freakin' awesome. I'm pratically an Old Navy advocate, normally. I always tell everyone to shop there, regardless of style, because you're bound to find at least one thing you like, and it'll fit properly. Their jeans are the only jeans I'll wear. They are perfection. I've even (after many years of trying) convinced my sister and best friend to start wearing them. They have, and both are happy with them. 3 out of 3 plus size women under the age of 25 all agree that Old Navy jeans are amazing. So, fat kids, take the hint. Oh, if anyone is curious, here's the Super Modelquin I came up with for myself:

Moving on! I've decided to carry around a tiny notebook with me from here on out because as we've all learned by now, I have a terrible memory and usually there is always something happening where I go "Oh! That'd be perfect to blog about", such as my trip to a Chinese buffet a few weeks back (maybe two now, Ash, confirm/deny?) where the girls and I discussed my issues with going up to the buffet line more than once. Sounds a bit hyprocritical, doesn't it? The fat kid activist doesn't like going up to the buffet line more than once. As laughable as it is, it's very much true. I always stack my plate full (it's the one time I really don't mind my food touching!) and then casually ask the next person who moves to go back to the line to grab me a little something. This past trip to lunch, when Ash and Jill both went up to get other items, they finally called me out on my inability to shove my empty plate aside and rejoin the hungry. It got the wheels turning in my brain and I finally realized why I'm not so eager to do it. I don't like looking like the typical fat kid. Yes, I know, again, I sound hypocritical. Just hear me out for a moment before you judge me. I've worked so hard to carry myself well regardless of my weight, I've shaken my fat ass a few too many times at a local club with no quams, but for some reason, I can't go back for more food at a buffet line. Why? Every time I go into a buffet, I always feel like all eyes are on me. What am I going to get? Wow, that fat girl must really be hungry if she's at a buffet. I tend to keep my head down or pretend to distract myself on my cell phone, something, anything to keep me from making eye contact with anyone who might be looking at me.

A buffet line should be the one place no one gets judged. We're all hungry, which is exactly why we're at the buffet, so we can eat a ton of food for one low price. Some people probably even shove a few pastry dishes in their purses before they run out. I've seen it happen. And usually when that does happen, I tend to judge them. Why? Because everyone judges everyone, regardless of where they are or what the situation is. It doesn't matter if I say I like someone's hair, or hate someone's shoes, it's all wrapped up in the mind set of being judgemental. So, that day at lunch I decided next time I go to the buffet, just for my own sake, I'll get up again, take a nice long stroll around the buffet tables, and really settle on what I want. How much I want to eat, what I'm willing to have one, twice, maybe three times (I'm a rebel, I know!), it'll be what I want, what will make me happy, and it won't be based upon what someone is going to think when I walk past them with three pieces of pizza on my plate. Besides, what I eat shouldn't effect anyone but me. It's going into my body, it's my waist line that will be explanding. No one else's. Me, myself and I. Numero uno.

That's what being larger than life is all about, after all. Being who are you, embracing what you've got and never letting anyone hold you down. So, audience at the next buffet line I cross, I hope you're ready for a show.

I've had enough of myself for one day, as I'm sure you have as well, so this blog is complete. Enjoy your weekend, I know I will! Potential kite flying weather is approaching, and I'm excited. Woo hoo!!